Tag Archives: faith

A Confession of a Struggling Christian

“But you, O Lord, are a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness.” – Psalm 86:15 (NIV)

I am a writer. My job is to tell stories. What follows is the best story I will ever write and my favorite story to tell.

Source:pixabay

A Thank You

Thank you, mom and dad, for being excellent parents and letting me always know I was loved. Thank you, Muna. You are my wife and my life. My love for you grows daily. You led me to the Lord every day by your example of faith and love.

This past year has been the most wonderful of my life- and the best is yet to come. Thank you, Steve Bruhn, for leading me to Christ and providing the best example of what a Christian man can be. Thank you Jerry Glesmann for being the best big brother, I could ever have. Our daily talks provide encouragement, love, and faith. You truly are the bravest and kindest man I have ever known.

Thank you to all my friends and family who read my daily diatribes. These posts are an expression of appreciation, gratitude, and meaningfulness. You have shared your spiritual insights, faith, and good advice. God bless you and thank you for letting me share my story.

Why?

This post started trying to explain my faith. I wanted to share a few simple thoughts on my life and how turning it over to Jesus has helped me. I did my best to capture the message God laid on my heart.

I hope to share three messages with you. Number one is my love and joy for God and the hope and inspiration I found in accepting the salvation of Jesus Christ. Number two, I wanted to share the excitement and benefits following Jesus Christ has done for my life. Number three, I want to tell you how my walk with God has helped me through some very difficult times, even as my memory and health seem to be getting worse and not better.

This post is really about how God has eased my journey through life. I am not a Bible scholar or even a good Bible student, but I did want to share with you a story I felt is my best story. I believe God wants me to share this story. I have felt His Presence as I have written.

There are times as I write I felt the total love of Jesus, my eyes filled with tears and I had to stop writing. Other times I was overcome with sadness, shame, guilt and I lost my bearings, and I had to stop writing. The only thing that was constant and consistent as I wrote was my feeling of God’s presence, love, and understanding. This is how I feel every day of my life after giving it to Jesus Christ.

A Declaration of Dependence

On July 4, 2016, I am part of a tour group visiting Normandy. We are here 72 years after D-Day. Our tour guide today is Rudy. He is a local Frenchman who spent a decade living in Minnesota. His English is better than mine.

Normandy looks like the coast of Oregon. It has ancient trees, mossy growth, a rocky coastline with craggy cliffs, with a constant rain that makes everything damp all the time. Rudy takes us to the Normandy D-Day Museum.

It’s the beginning of July the weather, and the weather is miserable. It’s cold with clouds, drizzle and sometimes hard rain. By mid-morning, we are all rain-soaked.

The Americans had a tough mission on D-Day. The Germans are an experienced army. They’ve conquered have of Europe and won battles against the Allies in Africa, Italy, and Russia between 1942 and 1944. The Germans are dug-in. They’ve been preparing months.

On Omaha Beach, there is a 100-foot bluff overlooking the beach at Pointe du Hoc. The Germans placed concrete gun emplacements on the hilltops. These fortifications make it tough for American naval gunfire to reach the German defenders. The Germans plotted every square inch of the beach. They cover every square foot with obstacles, mines, artillery and machine gun fire.

Conversion

On that windswept beach, on July 4, 2016, I was “born again.” Unlike most spiritual conversions, mine was not dramatic. The change in me was quiet, almost boring. To me, it was a simple thing. I had found God. And, most important, God had found me.

There was no flashing lights or clanging of bells. Something was missing in my life and now had been replaced with the Lord. This was not an earth-shattering moment of ecstasy just a warm, solid feeling of complete confidence that God was in my life.

That by trusting God and accepting Jesus Christ as my Savior, my life would be better and fuller. My life changed for the better that day. I have strived every day since to be worthy of that great gift.

Happiness

I don’t know much, but what I learned that day changed my life. I was sorry for the things I had done and sorry enough to do something about it. I feel God gave me a “new start.” My past was forgiven, my present secured and my future guaranteed.

I try to pray three times a day. In the morning, at night, and once somewhere in the middle of the day. The middle one is my saying thanks for all the great things in my life and for help with all the things I don’t understand. There’s a lot of that.

When I really need the Lord in a hurry, I use a little mantra I learned to get me in touch with God, “Lord, please see in me, and be in me.”

I pray this prayer before I write something. I clasp my hands and say, “Lord, make me useful to myself and help me to remember that until I am, I can’t be helpful to others. Help me to remember that you are my creator. I am what you made- sometimes the thumb on your hand, sometimes the tongue in your mouth. Make me a vessel which is dedicated to your service. Thank you, Lord, for your many blessings. Amen.”

Praying- Source: thoughtco.com

Easing my Burden

Even in the tragedy, God has given me hope and love. His love has given me a promise of a better tomorrow, eternal peace, and everlasting life. Faith has given me a reason to stay up late at night and get up early in the morning.

I still feel grief and sorrow. Occasionally I still suffer from depression. But now my pain and feelings of sadness are different, lighter and far less devastating. A void existed in my life that God has filled. I’m not talking about joining a church or finding religion. I’m talking about living a life filled with peace and happiness.

Muna and I joined a great, Bible-based church and we try to keep God first place in our lives. I still struggle in my personal life, but prayer, faith, and love for God have made my life better. I am the best version of myself I have ever been because of Jesus Christ.

Thank you for letting me share my story. God bless you, all.